Friday, December 4, 2009

33 weeks, 6 days ~ More than a little bit pregnant

I've never been this pregnant before.

Ezra died at 33 weeks, 5 days. I woke up yesterday with Sunflower at the exact same gestational age, and wondered if I should spend the rest of the day staring at the sky waiting to be hit by lightening. The morning was spent wallowing in a funk on the couch while still in my pjs and pink fuzzy robe. But then a friend called, with an offer of a visit with her and her 3 month old, and a promise she'd bring lunch. And so somehow the afternoon flew by, a large part of it spent with a sweet little boy sleeping on my shoulder, Sunflower kicking him from inside my belly. It was exactly what I needed - a very obvious and physical reminder that most babies live. At least so I'm told.

16 comments:

Michele said...

I know this nrew stage of pregnancy is tough. I'm glad you were able to spend your last day of "chartered territory" with such support.

erica said...

It's hard for me to believe that most babies live, too. I'm so glad your friend was able to give you what you needed yesterday.

k@lakly said...

And really they do, it's just so hard to believe it and remember it when all we know, from joining up in this club, is the other ending.
I'm hoping the rest of the journey will be gentle on you and that you are holding Sunflower in your arms in just a few more weeks.
xxoo

Paige said...

Yes, that's what they say. I'll need to experience it to believe it, though.

Glad you had snuggles inside and out yesterday. xo

Barbara said...

I'm glad that day passed well. And I hope that the rest of this pregnancy passes well too.

xxx

Sara said...

Glad you got what you needed yesterday. Passing into the uncharted waters, while much wanted, is still strange and a reminder of what you've lost even as you hope for what is ahead.

Gal aka SuperMommy said...

Oh. So sweet. And bittersweet. How could you not think deeply of Ezra on this day. And yes, most babies live, and here you are. Keep trusting. So much love to you.

Beth said...

so beautiful and sweet... thank you for posting.

CLC said...

Thinking of you Sarah during this last hard stretch...

Amanda said...

((((HUGS)))) friend. I am happy you are more pregnant than ever before but I also remember how bittersweet that can be. Keep hanging in there, Sunflower will be in your arms before you know it. Thinking of you always :)

Funsize said...

Glad you got the reassurance that Sunflower is doing well. I hope everything from here on out goes without any excitement.

xo

Holly said...

I'm glad your friend could visit and give you that reminder.

Kara aka Mother Henna said...

just stopping by to send you a hug
xo
k-

Akul's mama said...

We lost baby parents know that each child is a miracle. Hugsssssss and lots of good wishes.

Ya Chun said...

what a tough few days for you.

And three cheers for sunflower. Keep going.

Lani said...

alrighty, just a few more weeks and you are there. hang tight sarah!

sunflower will be in your arms so soon. sending you lots of healthy thoughts.

as much as the thought of babies is so hard, sometimes when you just say fuck it and hold one, its almost like medicine. glad that little one gave you what you needed.

xo