No less than 5 healthy live babies have been born to family and friends in the past week. I'm convinced I've experienced every possible emotion in response...happiness, relief, sadness, jealousy, anger. Certainly I don't wish membership in this dead baby mama club on anyone...I am happy for these lucky parents, I'll just never understand why we didn't get our happy ending too.
And then a thought occurred to me: could I buy a gift for these babies that honors my baby, or rather all of our lost babies? I thought about C's post about the amazing and beautiful sling which honors her son Callum and raises money for stillbirth research. I would love to be able to buy a gift for a live healthy baby that helps give voice to our babies, and raises money to prevent stillbirth or infant death. Like a wood toy or a rattle - does it exist?
My own furious google searching along with input from several of my amazing babylost mama friends didn't reveal much. Both Angel Names and First Candle have relationships with various vendors where a portion of the proceeds will be donated to these organizations; but nothing about the gift you purchase informs the person who receives it that this contribution was made. March of Dimes has a store which features various products. There are also companies that make items for grieving families, but these wouldn't be appropriate for a live baby.
I guess the lack of options out there begs the question - is this idea insane? Is it completely morbid to think of buying deadbaby gifts for live babies? And what is my motivation anyway - is my desire to give such gifts an act of generosity and compassion, or is it an act of bitterness and jealousy?
What do you think? And do you know of any products out there? And to my 'lurkers' who I know read but never comment (both babylost mama & non), feel free to weigh in on this one.
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