Kai

One year ago today, Election Day, was a day of tears for me. So many of our hopes and dreams for our little Ezra Malik intertwined into the election of our nation's first black president. It took me hours to pull myself out of bed to go and vote, something that I had envisioned for months doing with a baby Ezra strapped in a sling to my body. When Obama's win was announced that night, my own tears became an unstoppable flood.

But that same day brought an unstoppable flood for another family just 100 miles away in New York City, as Danielle and Alan unexpectedly welcomed their son Kai to the world. Kai, meaning water, or 'of the sea', arrived way too soon, and thus another set of babylost parents joined our ranks. Kai's Japanese name is nod to the mizuko jizo, which in Japanese culture guards the spirits of miscarried and stillborn babies as they travel into the next life, because they are believed not to have built up enough karma to make the passage safely. Kai only ever knew the water of his mama's belly as his home.

Danielle and I met here in babylost blogland in the weeks that followed, but when we met in person a few months later, it was as if we had known each other forever. I treasure my friendship with Danielle deeply and adore her sweet husband Alan. I hate that the devastating loss of our firstborn sons is what ties us together, and yet I can't imagine traveling this journey without Kai's beautiful parents.

At Ezra's unveiling, I asked Danielle to read a beautiful poem by Zelda titled 'Everyone has a Name'. The last lines seem written for Kai:

Each of us have a name
Given by the Sea
and given by
Our death.

Today as always I am remembering sweet baby Kai, and holding his parents Danielle and Alan close in love.