Tuesday, November 3, 2009


One year ago today, Election Day, was a day of tears for me. So many of our hopes and dreams for our little Ezra Malik intertwined into the election of our nation's first black president. It took me hours to pull myself out of bed to go and vote, something that I had envisioned for months doing with a baby Ezra strapped in a sling to my body. When Obama's win was announced that night, my own tears became an unstoppable flood.

But that same day brought an unstoppable flood for another family just 100 miles away in New York City, as
Danielle and Alan unexpectedly welcomed their son Kai to the world. Kai, meaning water, or 'of the sea', arrived way too soon, and thus another set of babylost parents joined our ranks. Kai's Japanese name is nod to the mizuko jizo, which in Japanese culture guards the spirits of miscarried and stillborn babies as they travel into the next life, because they are believed not to have built up enough karma to make the passage safely. Kai only ever knew the water of his mama's belly as his home.

Danielle and I met here in babylost blogland in the weeks that followed, but when we met in person a few months later, it was as if we had known each other forever. I treasure my friendship with Danielle deeply and adore her sweet husband Alan. I hate that the devastating loss of our firstborn sons is what ties us together, and yet I can't imagine traveling this journey without Kai's beautiful parents.

At Ezra's unveiling, I asked Danielle to read a beautiful poem by Zelda titled 'Everyone has a Name'. The last lines seem written for Kai:

Each of us have a name
Given by the Sea
and given by
Our death.

Today as always I am remembering sweet baby Kai, and holding his parents Danielle and Alan close in love.


Sara said...

Thinking of Kai and family, love like an ocean, and the eternalness of the sea

Dani819 said...

Thank you, honey, for this incredibly beautiful post. Thank you for remembering with us today, and for telling Kai's story so lovingly here. And thank you beyond words for the gift of your friendship this year. I love you.

angie said...

Just so beautiful, Sarah. Remembering Kai today with love.

Paige said...

Holding Kai and his beautiful parents close today. xo

aliza said...

i was just thinking of kai and wrote to danielle to ask what his exact birthday was.

thank you for these beautiful words sarah. i'm holding kai, danielle and alan close to my heart today.

Hope's Mama said...

Remembering with Dani and Alan today, with so much love. Beautiful post, Sarah. What a wonderful friend you are to Dani.

Akul's mama said...

Remembering beautiful baby Kai. I tried to go to Danielle's blog but could not. Please conver this message to Kai's grieving parents.booto

Karen said...

What a beautiful post about your friend and her baby Kai. Thinking of her and her family as they remember their sweet boy.

Lani said...

so beautiful sarah. been thinking of them all week. xo

Cara said...

It seems our dearest friends were always meant to be. The way in which we meet is the crux.

Hoping you are doing well -- cara